the acclimation of Archie Woo Woo

Richie has an alter ego. Archie Woo Woo. I know, I don't get it either. He kept saying it one night as if it made sense. That someone should just know that an alter ego is atypical. The way it goes is - when the man drinks he takes on a new persona, a new name, a woo woo name. It's as if he named his wang Archie and makes train noises with it as he enters the tunnel of love...with his man parts.

I'm not making fun, I just don't get it. Do I accept it? Heck yes. Can others do it too? Definitely. Has he taught me how to name others in the ways of the Woo? Of course. I wonder this - What's John Woo's woo name? Woo Woo Woo? W^3?

Here's how you come up with your very own and very unique Woo name.

Step 1: Understand that all names must end in Woo-Woo

Step 2, part a: To determine your first name, your imagination is nearly your limitation

Step 2, part b: All first names must end in Y (or ie I suppose. It has to end in they EE sound. So, I guess EE would work too. ArchEE, Archie, Archy)

Step 2, part c: The name also has a 2 syllable maximum.

Step 3: Here's how you create your very own first name - You can use any name that has an association to your own. Suppose your name is Dustin. You could by Dusty(ee)(ie) Woo Woo. You could use a famous person, such as Dustin Hoffman and be Hoffy Woo Woo. Maybe you like the Red Sox player Dustin Pedroia. Well, that one doesn't really work. How about Screech from Saved by the Bell, Dustin Diamond? You really have 2 options here. You could be Screechie Woo Woo or maybe Diamondy Woo Woo. Or, if you're truly creative - Dirty-Sanchezee Woo Woo. The options are limitless.

For my own name. Richie has told me that I have a few options. Chevy Woo Woo is my favorite thus far. Why Chevy? Chevy Chase played Fletch. It's associated with my last name. Take Chevy, already has they Y and I'm set. Add me a Woo Woo and I'm money.

It's almost like thinking of your "porn/soap opera name," but with the intention of being used while inebriated, or so I've been taught to understand it. This makes no sense, to be honest, but I've got to say - I was impressed, in a confused way, by his confidence in having such a Woo-ee alter ego. Anything that helps a man go on a multi-week drinking bender tends to work in my book.

You might wonder how Richie even ended up at Archie. Well, I know I did. His analysis had something to do with comics, Richie Cunningham, Archie Cunningham, Archie comics and thus was born Archie Woo Woo. I'm not going to take it away from him or even argue it. He created it, he can also create and maintain the rules. I'll just play along and get all wooey when the time comes.

So, come up with your own Woo Woo name. Let me know what yours is. We'll remember it and yell it. Loudly. At the bars, at a BBQ, at the mall, or when you're trying to get your make-out on. Yeah. "Where's Richie? Making out in that room? Hey...Ri...I mean, Archie WOO WOOOOOOOOOOOO" It'll happen. Happy Tuesday, enjoy the oldie, but a goody vid.