I can't believe it's been a month

Things get hellishly busy at work in December. I didn't realize this until recently. I remembered, in the back of my mind, that I had a blog but never the time to write in it. Thankfully, the holidays are a few short days away and the hard work of buying presents will pay off soon.

Then...comes the weekend. The amazing weekend. But before the weekend there will be Friday. Not just any Friday. It'll be a Van Damme Friday.

After that, UFC Saturday (here, we're hosting) and then patiently wait for NYE to see LBC. This year I won't get kicked out of the bar and we'll take plenty of pictures. I hope everyone is able to come.

But for now, before the week starts, to get you pumped up for Van Damme Friday...I give you...Van Damme

Too much free time for others means more funny for me

As routine as brushing your teeth

I'm not sure how or why this works...but it left me confused and speechless

Not the funniest thing but entertaining

I love Helen Keller

People either laugh or get frustrated with me when I make any Helen Keller references or jokes.
Sometimes, it's just funny. For example, in this video...I don't even have to say anything. It just goes to show, Helen was a tough blind, deaf and dumb person who really knew how to get around (walking) unlike this girl.

Kevin Smith and Porn

It's almost Friday and it's almost time to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

Will it be awesome? Yes

Will it be worth the over-priced ticket? Yes

If I'm interested in a movie, I like to see where an actor or director is coming from, especially in a movie such as this.

Come on out tomorrow night to come see it with us. Or, if you'd rather see what Kevin Smith had to say about it you can just read about it here.

You can vote 4 whoever you like...yeaaah

There are a few things I really love.
The rapper T.I. (Now, it's true I couldn't stand his alter ego album, but paper trails is a really, really good CD.)
The next is little dancing and singing black children (because they crack me up in a genuine way.)
A third thing is when people change the words to a popular song to be topical
And I really love out-of-place dancing, pudgy white kids.

If you mix all of that together you get pure gold.
Dustin had this video on his away message and at first I thought, "wtf?," but it sank in. The words were topical, the little black kids were dancing their little legs off. The song was by T.I. off of his newest, awesome, album. And to top the sundae with cherry...well, there was a pudgy white kid dancing out of place in the corner.

This is magical, topical, black, white, hilariously out of place video should make your day/night like it did mine.
Enjoy

More Bingo!

Woo hoo. I love Bingo!

Wal-Mart Bingo

If you're ever subjected to going to Wal-Mart and you need something to do, aside from get out of there as fast as humanly possible, then I present to you...Wal-Mart Bingo.

Here's what I want

Words aren't even necessary.
Enjoy

I smell syrup

I really do. It's as if Mrs. Butterworth let a fat one rip down my aisle. Buttery, syrupy goodness fills the air. If it was 8 or 9 in the morning I could understand, but it's 3 in the afternoon. Anyway...

UFC 90. Tomorrow night @ the Allstate Arena.

I truly hope it lives up to the hype (that's all built up in my mind. I'll get to see my favorite UFC fighter, Tyson Griffin. The beautiful thing about the UFC (and all other co-brands is that I tend to not have a predetermined favorite. I watch their promo, see what they look like, size them up and pick who I want to win from there. Eventually, I end up yelling at the TV no matter who's winning.

"Punch his f*n head off!"
"Kick him in the teeth!"
"Elbow his throat!"

It's almost a stress reliever to be able to just wish pain among other people.

"YEA, YEA, drop his ass. Knee him in the EYE!"

It's a minimum of 2 hours of nonstop fun.
The difference is, this Saturday, I'll actually get to BE THERE yelling with thousands upon thousands of other fight-happy people. Not only that, I'll be stranded in the middle of a row with 8 other awesome people. Most people would expect it to be 9 guys. Nope. 3 girls, 6 guys. A good, diverse mix. And you don't go to a UFC fight unless you actually enjoy (or don't mind) seeing grown men beat the living bajeezus out of people. That or they're simply there for the nachos.

I hope it's a fantastic fight. The event is sold out and everyone, I know, going is really excited to see some violence, maybe a bit of blood and some hurt feelings. Oh, and to eat some nachos.

Happy Friday

So I Don't Think I Can Dance

But I did go and watch a lot of people who can.

On Friday, I took Kim to see the So You Think You Can Dance tour (or SYTYCD for short). Due to our lack of planning, we decided to drive from the grove to the United Center...@ 530...on a Friday night...on the highway. That is one thing. Dumb.

It took us over 2 hours to get down there. Show began at 730 and we rolled in around 8. How far is it from here to there you might ask? 30 miles. Yeah...30 miles in 2.5 hours. Want that broken down? Sure thing. Let's see here...150 minutes to travel 30 miles. So...that means we were traveling at a speed (on average) of 12 mph. It was a fun drive. I think the mph average is what we paid for parking too. Swell.

On any note, we finally got there and found out seats. They were pretty hot for the price. I swear, I was the oldest straight non-dad in the building. I didn't care, I was enamored by it all.

Everything moved a lot slower in person. There weren't 40 camera angles fighting for air time and the dancers weren't playing to the camera, which was nice.

There were only 2 downsides.
1. Bad, bad acting by the dancers. They dance, they shouldn't act
2. You could tell they weren't busing their butts as much as when they were on TV. It's understandable, they're touring the country and doing this most nights out of the week, I'd be 3/4 assing it too. It didn't matter, the crowd was still into it and we all went nuts for, surprisingly, the same songs.

Kim and I have our favorite dancers and they're not the same (aside from Twitch).

Why am I rambling on about this? Well, it was an awesome time. Kim wanted me to scream like a girl and I wouldn't (or maybe I did). The coolest thing about seeing it live was gaining a better appreciation for how hard it is to dance like they do. It also helped add or solidify some of my favorites from the season.

There are 4 that really stand out. Do you get to see them? Heck yes you do.

We'll start with the contemporary piece I really like. Kim didn't think Kherington was a good dancer, I did and Kim would say, "you just think she's hot." Hot or not, she can still dance to me, but what do I know -- I can't dance. I never understood contemporary dancing but it's pretty to watch. Good story



Hmm, what next...
This song got the biggest noise of the night. It was their last couple routine and a really cool dance. Thing to look for - when she pulls the guy up by his foot, it's ridiculous.



It's weird with this show. It'll take a song I don't normally like and then I'll learn to love it. Like...Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love." I didn't really like it til I saw this dance routine. I'm tempted to go into backstory on these people, but I'll refrain. I will say that the girl in this one doesn't show it here, but is a ballroom dancer with hips that were put into a paint shaker. Fact.


This is one of the prettiest dances I saw all season. Mark is awkward, but they made a boring old waltz look possible and interesting.



Alright, so I said only 4 but I lied, so what? My blog, right? I can ramble if I want to. I'll post the dance that actually got me interested in this show. I used to casually watch with Kim and mock a little bit, but then this funky ass song came on with an even funkier dance and I was hooked for the show (sad but true).



And there you have it. Awesome dances.
Does it make me gay? Nope. Close, maybe, but not all the way :)
Anyway, enjoy the vids and when the new season rolls around early in 09 you should check it out because it'll be awesome. Don't believe me? Ask Kim, she'll vouch.

McCain knows how to smile with his eyes

I want to thank the four four for this awesome video. It's potentially sad that I've watched & enjoyed ANTM (America's Next Top Model), so it makes this video even better, but if you're even moderately familiar with Tyra Banks then you should enjoy it.

I really can't get enough of the political humor. Let's go 11/4! GO VOTE!

A must-buy for Kim this holiday season

What's scary is that I might consider it. If you know Kim, you know she's usually always cold. 85 degrees in the apt, "I'm cold..." The only time she isn't is when I go to bed and she's roasting.

Anyway - I digress.
Get ready, Kim, to see this under the tree this year! :)

Another article, this time about losing weight w/o major dieting (thank god)

It's too bad this list isn't "10 ways to lose weight w/o dieting"
After talking to Richie the other day about his switch from over consumption to Lean Cuisines...this article was necessary to post. Mostly because I know he'll read it this way. But for anyone who is trying to lose weight - going cold turkey on what you're used to isn't the right thing to do. It's all about portion control. Sure, if you're eating McD's all the time, it'll still get to you, but that's because it isn't real. It's all processed and manufactured...(but so good for a hangover).

It's about limiting how much you're eating, not always what you eat (though that plays a big role too) More fiber, more fiber (cleans ya out) and eat slower. That's been my biggest challenge. I love to eat fast (my dad used to race us as kids because he grew up speed eating when working on a farm). But if you slow down how fast you eat and listen to your stomach, you'll fill up and not eat as much. Last bit, before I drop this article down - if you're hungry, before snacking your life away, try drinking a glass of water. Sometimes your stomach confuses hunger for thirst and a glass of water can hold you over until it's time to eat.

We all say we don't have time to work out (we're just lazy and making excuses because anything else can be more fun), but even if you don't, curbing your eating habits can help shed many unwanted pounds. Fact, fact, fact.

Anyway - Yahoo comes through again with an interesting article about weight loss. So - these are not my words anymore but Yahoo's. Enjoy the article.

3 ways to lose weight without dieting

Great news! You can ditch your diet for good and still hit your happy weight. Science has finally proven what you've probably suspected for years--that following a restrictive food plan can make you more likely to overeat. Researchers at the University of Toronto tempted a group of women who were cutting their calorie intake with a plate of cookies and then put the same treats in front of women who weren't trying to lose. Not only did the dieters dig in, but they ate 66 percent more goodies than their nondieting peers. "Women end up feeling so deprived on weight loss plans that they break down and binge," says Tracy Tylka, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Ohio State University at Marion. We at SELF have a better way to slim down: nine simple lifestyle switches that will help you shrink your waist effortlessly!

1. Eat more good stuff
Instead of obsessing about tasty bites you want to banish, focus on healthy foods you can feast on. Women who do so tend to lose more weight than those who ruminate on restricting calories. Fill up with fiber-rich fruit, vegetables and whole grains. "High-fiber foods expand in your stomach, so you're less likely to overeat," says Madelyn Fernstrom, Ph.D., director of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center Weight Management Center. Fiber also inhibits your body's absorption of fat, says Dave Grotto, R.D., author of 101 Foods That Could Save Your Life (Bantam Books). There are easy ways to sneak in more fiber: Stir 1 tablespoon of flax seed into oatmeal, add 1/2 cup of beans to a green salad or snack on small portions of dried fruit and nuts. (Find more healthy foods: 10 simple foods with superpowers)

2. Go to the dogs
Volunteering at the pound could help you lose pounds. People who signed up to walk shelter dogs for an hour a week lost about a pound in four weeks, early research from the University of Missouri at Columbia showed. That's 12 pounds a year you could shed without skipping a single dessert! In fact, other research by study author Rebecca Johnson, Ph.D., revealed that people who walked a dog (either their own or a loaner hound) 20 minutes a day for five days a week lost on average 14 pounds after a year. Best of all, dog walking turns out to be an easy commit­ment to keep. "We had a 72 percent adherence rate, which is unheard of in most exercise programs," Johnson says. "Some volunteers enjoyed it so much, they stayed longer to walk more animals." Find a shelter near you at PetFinder.com. (Turn your typical walking workout into supercharged steps by adding a few smart strength moves. Walk your way slim!)

3. Sleep it off
Getting enough shut-eye can keep your body from storing fat, scientists at Laval University in Quebec note. Night owls who log fewer than six hours of sleep are 35 percent more likely to gain weight—on average, 11 pounds over six years—than those who get seven to eight. "Sleep deprivation increases cravings for sweets and starches," says James Gangwisch, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center in New York City. "It also causes your body to produce more of the stress hormone cortisol, which is linked to belly fat." To snag more sack time, set a radio alarm to sound 30 minutes before you want to go to bed, suggests Michael Breus, Ph.D., author of Beauty Sleep (Plume). When it goes off, head to your room and relax with stretches or light reading (avoid anything agitating, such as the news). After a half hour, it's time to dream of a slimmer you.

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Hey, it's me again. I like videos better. Enjoy (I'm addicted to the Biggest Loser this year...sigh)

Eat to Lose @ Yahoo! Video

8 Signs You're a Terrible Guest

I read this on yahoo today. I found it really interesting. Thankfully most people I know don't do these things but we all know people who do. What would be funnier is if someone read one and went, "oh...hmm, I do that..."

Here you go:

At one time you felt you were the belle of the ball with party requests pouring in left and right. But suddenly there's nary an invitation in sight. If your mailbox and inbox are only filling up with bills and junk mail, it's time to take this Foxy test:

DO YOU...

think a plus-1 Is always a plus? Unless the invitation says "you and a guest," chances are you are the only one invited, so don't just show up with someone on your arm, even if you're eager to show off your hot new mate.

have a case of the loners? The whole idea of going to a "get together" is to get together, not sit in the other room watching TV or playing with the cat. If you're just not feeling the party mood or aren't the type of person who can "turn it on," then it might be better to skip gatherings when you're not feeling 'em.

go heavy on the sauce? Nobody likes an out of control, fumbling guest at their party who accidentally knock down half the buffet table or pass out on the sofa during group conversation. So, as the saying goes, "drink responsibly," especially when you're at someone else's home.

inhale everything edible? While any host loves to see guests enjoying the nibblies, it's not a good look to monopolize the appetizers by devouring the entire plate of passed dumplings or spicy tuna rolls. Remember, there are other hungry guests at the party too.

think your bluetooth is part of your ensemble? The point of a gathering is to socialize and mingle with other guests, not blab on your mobile phone or text on your Blackberry. That's just plain rude.

use the word "me" in every sentence? While you may be the cat's meow, letting everyone else know about it all night can be overbearing. The key is to be comfortable talking about yourself when someone asks, but be sure to pepper the conversation with plenty of questions about other guests. Other topics to avoid overdosing on if you want to be invited back include: your health, your therapist, and oh yeah, your sex life.

overhear people asking about a smell? Are you dousing yourself with an overpowering scent that other guests could be allergic to? Remember, one spritz is almost always enough. But it could be worse...you could be dousing guests with dragon breath or B.O. Good hygiene is crucial. Nothing's worse than trying to get through a sit-down dinner while seated next to someone who reeks.

enter empty-handed? It's always a good idea to bring a little something-something for the host of the soireé. Something simple yet budget-friendly like bath salts, chocolates, a box of stationery, or a candle will do the trick. (Target and CostPlus are two favorite places to pick up affordable and stylish goodies). Bringing a gift is the classy way of saying "thanks for having me over" -- a token of appreciation.

She's back and lookin' nearly mentally stable

Britney is back, bitches.
I know some of you have never liked her, learned to hate her in her downward spiral, but not me. Her last album was magically delicious and her next album, Circus, should be promise to be just as great.

Not to mention, her body is back in pre: baby, hubby, panty-less photos, shaved head, sex couches and DCFS scares. Why am I talking about it...enjoy her new video

King of the White House?

thanks for this one, Dustin

Guns N' Roses to FINALLY release studio album

I don't know about you, but I'll believe it when I see it.
Then, when I see it, I'll cash in on my free Dr. Pepper. mm MMM.

According to this article from msnbc.com, the new album is scheduled to release November 23rd. Mark your calendar. They've a track coming out with Rock Band 2 and they've been dropped in a movie as of late.

I'll cross my fingers. It should be revolutionary. I only fear that it'll sound overworked, lack grit with rock and suck. Here's hoping.

Why I'm glad I'm getting married indoors

It's not that I don't like the outside, but I could see Rich doing this. So, here's one reason (of many) why I'm glad to be getting married inside.

It's raining alright

Rich turned me to hulu.com
It's a great place to watch any tv show you've missed recently with very few, short commercials.
From last weeks'season premier of Family Guy...I give you the best line of the show (it's at the end of the clip)

The Sarah Palin Debate Flow Chart

I almost forgot

We're in St. Cloud (or some town around it) eating lunch at Applebees before getting back to Matt's and driving back to Illinois.

The wonderful thing about Applebees was they had 3 items on the 'all you can eat' side of things.

1. Shrimp

2. Rib niblets

3. Chicken fingers

I love chicken fingers.

I also drank heavily with Matt the night before.

Before the gun range there wasn't any breakfast or coffee consumed.

There was nothing that would satisfy my 1/4 hangover and serious malnourishment.

After the range, there was Applebees (despite the 25 minute debate (if you could call it that) on where we should eat lunch).

It was a nice Applebees. The server was really nice and had a bit of sass to her.

Our order was roughly the following:

Matt: AUCE Chicken Fingers

Mark: same

Kim: some sandwich off of the regular menu

After we received our meals we begin to plow into them making great progress and I was allowing the breading to absorb most of the remaining alcohol that sat happily in my stomach.

The waitress comes over and asks Matt and I if we'd like her to put in another order of chicken fingers (yes, please). I ate them at record speeds so my stomach wouldn't know I was full and I could continue my lunchtime gluttony.

Matt says to the woman, "yes, please, but don't worry about the fries. I don't need them. I'm going to focus on the chicken."

Anyway, point of the story...

A few minutes later the manager is doing her walk through and she arrived at our table.

She does the typical manager thing and asks how everything is and tastes then looks over at Kim and her meal. This next part is classic.

Manager: Well, hey there guys, how's everything going? Is the food good?

Us: Yes it is.

Manager: (to Kim) Ma'am, how's your sandwich?

Kim: Good

Mgr: Well, is it your favorite sandwich here at the Applebees?

Kim: Um...(looks at Matt and I), I don't eat here very often, so...yes?

Mgr: Good. Well, you better enjoy it. Because, this is the last week it's going to be offered.

She then smiled and walked away

We bust out laughing. What do you say to that? How do you reply? Kim should've shed a tear, that would've been magical.

It's probably a story that you 'had to be there for,' but to see the stone-serious look on this managers face and she meant it with the greatest care for Kim and her sandwich...she really wanted Kim to enjoy this sandwich and was there to comfort her if Kim were to be sad that this was the sandwich's last few days with the company. That plus 12 chicken fingers, 5 glasses of water and a overly-sincere hillbilly manager at the Crapple definitely sealed our trip up with the right amount of MN perfection

Needless to say, it provided a lot of funny stuff for the rest of our lunch.

"Uh...Server. Did you enjoy serving us today? You did? That's good, because this is the last time we'll be here."

I love Applebees. Fact.

I know, I know, it's Crapplebees and that will never change but it is what it is. It knows it'll never be better than a B- TGI Fridays. A non-bankrupt Baker's Square without as many old people or pie.

you should really go to the Chatterbox Pub.

Chatterbox Pub.

There happen to be 2. The one I was able to check out was in a burb right outside of St. Paul. I was expecting to see some yuppy habitat with overdone lighting, a big line. I don't know, something fancy pants and overdone. Did I get that? Not at all.

This place was set up as a hole in the wall and it lived up to it. It had a nice contrast inside. 2/3 of the pub had some nice, large booths for big parties as well as a large section of the place filled with vintage 70's couches which all had a small console with a 19in LCD tv and a coffee table. The couches looked like something you'd get for free from Craigslist and they definitely felt used, but I didn't mind. They were squishy in a good way.

Those couches pictured are a pretty fair comparison to what we were all sitting on throughout the night.
I should back up.
We get there. Easy
We park. Somewhat easy

As we walk in we're greeted by 4 or 5 people. They're already cracking jokes, which is always a plus. We get our asses parked in a lounge area with couches that looked like picture #4. We were set up with the original NES.
I tell the server (one of 3 who kept stopping by) that we'd be taking up this space for most of the night. I think we came in around 7 and did not leave until 12 or so. They were cool with it and we took full advantage of it.

After a bit of waiting everyone came. Susan, Carrie, Sadie, Kim's pal from middle school and Jonathan. I'd never met Jonathan before that night (Carrie's BF) and I've got to say, he was one cool guy. A lot of fun. A bastard when it comes to Jenga, but that aside, a quality guy (good work Carrie).

Why dwell on details...let's see...

The food sounded familiar but everything had a twist to it that no one expected. Everything was spiced up or made a bit healthier than planned. Everything was delicious, we were all unprepared for what we ate, that's all. I'd have to say the food had a strong bohemian flare, added health, a lot of thought and on-purpose twists that made them a pub joint with food that was levels higher than your typical bar food.

There were servers constantly swinging by to see how we were doing, if they could get us more drinks which is always welcome. Who doesn't love great customer service?

Oh yes, their beers.
For all the great things that CBP had to offer, they sure were tricky beer bastards. That or our group was that oblivious to their pricing. No one asked us "what size," we kept getting fed their $6, not $3.5, brews. That adds we learned. Boy did it. We were swindled and bamboozled with delicious overpriced beers. I knew it was too good to be true and out rolled our tab and reality slapped me like a wet noodle. I was given the Arabian Goggles and then the Roman Soldier for good measure...

Expensive beer aside, being able to sit on comfortable, previously used/abused couches while being able to play nonstop vintage video games with copious amounts of board games will never get old.

I think they have an awesome business model, to get technical. I seriously thought, if I were to open a restaurant their concept makes perfect sense. It appeals to my generation and those older and younger than me. Just provide people with great drinks, better food and some ongoing entertainment and you've got a winner.

What am I forgetting...
Hmm...
Ah the menu of games.
on the back of their menu was a list of their playable games. You had 3 system choices: 1. NES 2. ATARI 3. Sega Genesis
ATARI aside, I could have that set up myself. It cost $2 to have access to any of the games and you could switch them out as you saw fit. Also on the menu were 15-20 choices of board games. Connect 4, Monopoly (it always starts a fight), apples to apples and even Jenga (our evening choice).

The variety kept us occupied. The games are/were a great conversation starter and kept the evening going.

That's basically it.
I don't have anything profound to add about the Chatterbox Pub.
It was an awesome experience.
So, if you're looking for good food, a lot of gaming options, great service, some pretty decent micro brews (at a cost) and vintage couches your parents probably did it on that you can sink right into then the Chatterbox is your ticket if you're in St.P or MPS.

And for the grand finale...more fun photos of the evening.

MN. the recap.

So, I'm a week late, but it's ok. I'm sure no one pined or cried while waiting for me to write something w/o a video as a feature.

I love Minnesota.
Where else, in 3 days time, could I shop one of the largest malls in the country, get my white man dance on at a wedding, see more fat people than an obesity-is-us reunion buffet dinner, learn that a Prius can ride well when being floored to 75mph, play vintage video games in a bohemian-like retro-game pub, AND shoot 2 handguns, 1 assault rifle and a 12-gauge shotty? No where.

...well, I guess anywhere, but not that weekend.

I know 6 hours is a haul, but once you ride it out, it's not a bad drive at all to see some long-time, long-since-seen friends. Our Friday night started with a trip to the Chatterbox Pub. This place was fascinating. It could garner a blog all its own. Yeah, it will. The long and short of this place was it was one sweet atmosphere with funky fare, games, brews and crazy comfy couches. Everyone invited wasn't able to make it out, but I didn't care. The people who came were awesome. Kim was able to meet a large handful of future-wedding-invitees. It was a great way to kill 5/6 hours.

The only major downside of Fri night and Saturday was the hotel. A nice Hilton Garden Inn on the far East side of St. Paul but it was far too expensivo for not getting free breakfast. It was a fine price to pay to get to see Kyle/Steph for their wedding, but F, $140 a night (before taxes and nonstop dirty movies) as the wedding block rate...ridiculous. No. Redonkulous. I realize free wi-fi is nice, but it's not worth jacking the price up to what is normally a $180/night room. Yeah, choke on whatever you're eating, it's that outrageous. Would I recommend staying there? Nope.

Wedding was cute and fun. It was also another opportunity for Kim to meet more people (Brenda, Kyle, Steph, Jenny, Joe...)
Stephanie was a really cute bride. I've never seen a bride hurry her ass so fast down the aisle. If there was a runner, she wouldn't of cared, she was booking too fast down the aisle. When she got to the end of the alter, there were still 2-3 minutes left in the song the man was singing.
That man, I think he was family, was a treat. Flowy 70's Dirk Diggler hair, poofy mustache, late 70's wedding garb and when he got into his singing...man oh man did he get a case of the Elvis leg shake.

I'm not kidding either. He didn't look or sing as well as Elvis, mostly because he took his own artistic liberties on everything...which cracked me up. He looked sort of like the guy in that photo over there. Man...that's eerie. So combine that guy with the Elvis shake and you've got a great rendition of Switchfoot's 'Only Hope.'

That aside, it was a quick and cute service. They had a really cool sand art idea for when the guests left. Each guest dropped in a bag of sand to show their support for the couple. I only fear the day Kyle accidentally bumps into it and it spills all over the carpet...ugh.

Ok, Friday and Saturday covered.
Sunday. MOA. Kim's first time since she was 13. What a difference 12 years and a full-time job make. She tore that mall apart. I've never seen such a successful shopper. We spent a LONG time there. As Kim mentioned in her blog, the best store we found was the store created to sell only Minnesota paraphernalia. Amazing place. It's also where Kim saw that everyone- man, woman, child, fat, skinny, ugly or transgender - wore a Vikings jersey on football Sunday. The state is packed with sports support. It was also the home of a plethora of bustin-over-the-belt guts that Kim LOVED. She was a half click away from running up to a suspender-wearing man and shake his belly of jelly.

Saturday night
Gannon and Jen took us to the closest place to home: Old Chicago.
As Gannon put it, "just because it says Old Chicago doesn't mean the food tastes anything like it does in Chicago. Don't let the name fool you." It was a cool bar where you can take their World Beer tour, which consists of 110 beers. If you do it 10 times. Yeah, 10. You get a big fat mug they leave there for you and 1/2 off a liver transplant. The one catch is, you can only be marked off for 4 beers a visit. That means you need to visit a minimum of 28 times to go through one round. 280 times of 4 beers per visit to get through the tour 10 times. Amazing.

That night was filled with copious amounts of fancy pants beers, touches of Halo, some COD4 then a foray into Castle Crashers and intoxicated (for me at least) Mario Party.

Monday
Are you bored yet? You should be.
We shot guns. Many guns. Many bullets. We avoided the crazy man who lives next door to the range. I nominated and voted myself the Range Master. It's always a cool experience. Kim shot her first firearm and when she returned to work someone said to her (after seeing her in a picture shooting a gun), "Kim, I didn't know you were a republican." That's how you know it was a good time. Let's see what I can show of the day...

Hmm, yeah. A M4, a couple of hand guns and a 12-gauge later, we had ourselves the fun-filled Monday morning we had hoped for. Thanks for the fun, Gannon!

After that it was all-you-can-eat chicken fingers (oh man, so good) and then we were back on the road for 7 hours to get back home. That's right. St. Cloud - B. Grove in 7 hours. We made great time.

That was pretty quick considering the speed that we moved at all weekend long.
I need to go back and I was just there. There are a lot of awesome people and a WHOLE lot of fun things to do, whether it's shooting a firearm, eating nonstop, playing video games, checking out mall-roaming fatties or catching up with old pals. A lot, lot of fun!

And this blog...done

soon, soon

Work's been slowly busy.
I saw this catch and had to agree that it's one of the best I've ever seen.


Alright, until I get off my lazy rumpus to write, enjoy it and thank goodness the weekend is here!

It's coming, just you wait...

I'm terrible at being a consistent blogger. And that's ok. I'll pass on video after video until I have the time to babble. Soon though, very soon.

Susan asked if I'd write a review of the Chatterbox pub. I'd love to.
But after driving 7 some hours from St. Cloud to B. Grove today, I need a recharge before I tackle that wonderful obstacle.

I need to figure a way to word it perfectly. I've been perusing random blogs. Most of them are terrible. Written terribly. There's usually a sense of pretentiousness in the way most people write. It's humorous, but irritable. So, I need to craft a quality, yet fun blog that doesn't read like so many others - which is crappy.

There were oh so many shenanigans that occurred this weekend that I've no real way to snapshot them into a quick blog. For now, I'll sleep on it. Soon you'll hear about M4's, zubas, patronizing managers of chain restaurants, fun weddings, overpriced hotels, a pub review and maybe even talk about Matt's puppy and his love for weed and peanut butter.

Until I figure all that noise out - way to go Cubs (YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS) and FINALLY for the Vikings. I'll see you soon!

Welcome back Tina Fey!

Is there a possibility the SNL could get funny again? No, but this skit cracked me up.

My favorite commercial so far this year

I love any commercial with Peyton Manning. Add Eli - good. Add some trash talking with the 2 she beasts of tennis? Money. Pure gold.

Barack Rolled

Almost as good as getting Rick Rolled
There are some perks to election season.

Ya missed...again...and again

Yo Yo Fat Kid

Misheard Douche

Enjoy

Saved By the Soulja

Love it and I love si.com for providing me with this.

Groin Injury

It's a classic.

Flyin High

Lately I haven't had much to say and that's no different today. Life is busy. There's a lot coming up or that could be going on that I'm sure will be worthy to write about. I apologize now for when I write about wedding anything (it's more stressful than I would have originally imagined) So, you get a very short, very amusing quick video.


http://view.break.com/545919 - Watch more free videos

Jonah Hill in a new way

It's uncomfortable but it's fantastic

Usher meets Show Biz Pizza

Here's another video that goes right along with the music.
I don't know how it's done but I don't care. This one is spot on. I love the gorilla when he says "hey...hey"

let's go Friday...woooooo
enjoy

Late Night Humor

This cracked me up.

Motivation? I have little. I have none.

What a drastically slow day.
No videos or pictures to post yet. I have a whole slew of pictures heading my way from this past week. North Dakota isn't an exciting place. It's very flat. It's not to be confused with the few attractions South Dakota has to offer. The most happening spot was the Walmart. But, there were some good times with family and some interesting photos taken. I'll get a few of those up sometime this weekend or next week.

Today and tomorrow will drag more ass than a dog with worms.
But Saturday night will offer some quality fun with a UFC fight on Spike, some well deserved drinks and R&R. Hell, maybe a little golf.

Two 9 hour drives are killer to the body. That and sleeping in funny beds with funny pillows in a funny hotel in a funny town for 5-6 days will mess you up too. Oh and the funeral didn't help either. But - I was able to see the families gossip just like it was olden times when my mom and dad were still married. The same crazy people are still crazy, just older, whinier and most of them uglier. A recap to follow later.

But for now I'll stare blankly at my work and think "what the hell was I working on before I left?" and continue to stare.

In other news, next weekend may be quite a doozy. Mr. Gergenhuesen is in town. That always equals some form of trouble. At least Santa is in hiding so he doesn't go wall humping again. There will be much golf, more beers, a baseball game, rare bits of sleep and tons of fun. So, if you're not doing anything the 25th or 26th - you should plan to come hang out with us, it'll be fun. Maybe see Step Brothers on that Friday then shenanigans.

Alright. Lunchtime. More work. More meetings. More forgetfulness. Then r&r.

Updated Information

Hey All

In case you knew Eric or know someone who knew Eric or, on the off...off chance, you know someone or are someone who knows Eric who lives in North Dakota -- here's the information on his services.

-----------------------------
A memorial service will be held for Eric on Tuesday, July 15, 2008 at Boulger Funeral Home 123 10 St South
Fargo, ND 58103
Phone: 701-237-6441. The family will be available for visitation beginning at 11:00 am and the memorial service will begin at noon.
http://www.boulgerfuneralhome.com/ Please sign the guest book as a memento for his family. His obituary will be there soon as well. Please pray for all of us at this difficult time.
------------------------------

Here is the obituary posted in the ND newspaper: obituary
Here is the obit posted in the Sun Times: Eric's Obituary

I was asked to make the playlist that will go on in the background during the services. Talk about daunting. I'm much more accustomed to creating something upbeat, new, happy and that people will want to share. This task is/was one that took much more effort. Did I do it? Like Bob the Builder, yes I did. I'm not soliciting it, but for any reason, if anyone wants a copy of it I should be able to get it to you. It's intention is to mix music Eric would listen to as well as music appropriate for a service that intertwined his tastes, things that remind my parents of him and songs he'd want to sing to his daughter. Because I like to post videos, the first track is right below.

I'll see you all or talk to you all Thursday.

Time to say goodbye...

This is a tough one. The best way to get things out is in writing. Otherwise they stay pent up and fester and no one likes a fester-urr.

I assume many of you will learn this soon enough, but as a place for babble and unleashed thoughts you can read it here first because I don't really want to tell this story 100 times. Explaining how I got engaged or things about the upcoming wedding are one thing but this is a whole different box of worms.

*******

Last night, right near midnight, after I was attempting to go to bed earlier than normal (since I've been so spent lately) I get a call from my father. Mind you, any call from my dad is unexpected let alone one at 1145pm on what I thought was going to be an idle Wednesday night. He asks me if I'm sitting down, so I went and found a chair.

He informs me the police had just left his house. The Fargo, ND police had just called the Illinois police to find my dad. Initially I think "oh hell, what happened to my grandma?" She seemed healthy and in good spirits, but it wasn't her. Then he sputtered out, in the midst of appropriate tears and sobbing, that the police had received a concerned phone call, went to the apartment to find out the my brother, Eric Fletcher, had died.

As to the details of how he died I will not disclose. I will keep that within the family. Also, the police are waiting on results from the autopsy. From what I can share or do know, he died while asleep which is as peaceful as someone can ask for. It's just such a shocking turn of events.

He's had such shit luck since he welcomed his first daughter into the world.

The mother of his child plays games, hides the child, kept her from her dad and played nonstop games. He didn't do fantastic in school and didn't really, from my perspective, have the best support system in his area. Family is one thing but I feel like he was missing a close knit group of friends. It's sad. Whatever it was it took its toll on Eric and no one will ever know. His daughter will grow up without a dad. Her grandma (my mom) may never get to meet her. It's all such a sad state of affairs.

For those of you who know me, you know I've never been particularly close to Eric. We had our sibling rivalries and he had a long-standing spat with my mother. What gets me is that he was working on it, he was getting better, things were getting better with he and his daughter and he was hoping to bring her down here this summer so everyone could meet her and he could show her off, but he won't get to do that. And despite not being close to him, he's still family. Despite any dislike, distrust, or past aggressions, when it comes down to it he was still my brother.

Bah, it's impossible for me to wrap my head around it all. It's a clusterfuck of emotion. I'm not one who enjoys or deals with seriously sad situations all too well. Seeing my mom (and even my dad) being complete messes is tough on me. My mom was working hard to rebuild her lost relationship with Eric and now she won't get to have the chance. Looking back, it makes me wonder if any of the bullshit was worth it. The shit my dad pulled, Eric's defiance, me being an ass of an older brother most times...did it matter? No, but you never expect someone to be there one night and die the next.

It's not a "I never got to say goodbye" scenario. He and I talked when I got back from Vegas. He congratulated me on getting engaged and I acknowledged it. We, too, were working on some form of communication. He always knew I just wanted him to talk to our mom again and he was working at it, or so it seemed. Fuck, what a blow to the family.

All in all, it's sad. For those of you who knew Eric, you knew he'd do most anything for a smidge of the spotlight or some attention. I remember hearing about him doing goofy antics at summer camp, he'd always do something overly goofy or stupid so people would laugh, but he won't get those chances anymore and his daughter will never get to experience those times with her dad in the future. For the shit Mandy put him through I hope she's happy with her actions and her family too. They treated him like scum and now gets the added responsibility to lie to her daughter in years to come to tell her that she was nice to Eric when she never was, but by God she better paint a good picture of her dad to her. He was a goofy person but once he had Reegan in his life he seemed to have made a big personal change. His focuses became solely around her. Once the games began his task remained focused and simple - see his daughter at any appropriate cost. His life shouldn't have to be the cost to pay. He can now watch over her.
No one deserves to die young.

Eric Nathan Fletcher was 23 years old and was turning 24 at the end of August. It's all too sad. I pray for my parents and that they can remain strong through this. I know they, as well as myself, have a very strong group of family and friends behind us to help out wherever we may need. This comes very expectantly and will take quite the emotional toll on many of us in my family. So, I don't say this much, but keep Eric and my entire family in your prayers. If you don't pray - think happy thoughts like Peter Pan.

If anyone wants more info, let me know. It's all a mess of thoughts but you get the point. Sad day for our family and any of his friends. They say God does everything for a reason. Though I don't understand this one, I'm not sure if I will. I only hope he's in a better place now...

I'll probably be around this weekend and helping out with Ryan for the most part.
Will I stay dormant all weekend? No. I'll go stir crazy. My family comes first right now, but I'm up for doing things that are low key. If anyone is looking for information regarding services for Eric, I can post once I know, many of the formalities are still being determined.

RIP
Eric Fletcher
b August 31, 1984
d July 5, 2008

----------------

Crazy soccer kicks

Some guy with a soccer ball and a lot of crazy free time on his hands. He pulls off some ridiculous shots.

FOOT 2008 (REMI GAILLARD)
Uploaded by nqtv

More Slow Motion Fun

It's been too long since I've posted anything. Work has been hectic and once I get home, blogging isn't what I want to do. I usually prefer to eat, relax, drink, maybe Wii fit it out and then veg and crash.

I'm off to Arizona Sunday for a work conference. That goes until Thursday and then I'll be in Vegas that Thu-Monday morning visiting with Kyle Race. The Kyle Race. Almost as The as Nate Johnson but not quite. We'll see how well I do with my distaste for flying. It's the whole concept of being off the ground that gets to me, but there should be a movie...so.............let's hope that works in my favor. Otherwise I'll thumb through a copy of Food & Wine magazine in a matter of a minute.

On Thursday, Mr. Race is coming out to road trip me back to Vegas. Lets hope he brings a squad car, we turn the sirens on and coast on to his place. I have no idea what to look for, do, or expect in Vegas. People from all over the world, bad outfits, little outfits, gambling, booze and oh so much more. I'll try to take pictures, but no guarantees!

Anyway - I doubt I'll post next week, but maybe I will if I have Internet access or feel like doing it from my phone. We shall see. But - until then, enjoy this twist on the slow motion video...good times and happy Friday.

Oh, PS - If you haven't done it yet/before - Check one of the side blogs over there to the right. I recommend "Ultra-Condensed Movies." Cracks me up every time. Ok, now done, have great weekends!

Adam's Ribs - a review

I'm a bit of a food snob. I love good food. It doesn't have to be gourmet, 4 star or have a chef who's won the James Beard award, far from it. I don't care who made it as long as it's good. But - If you have a restaurant and open your doors to the public - there should be some sort of concept and/or theme. When you're there, you should have a feeling of your environment, the type of food you'll consume and, from when you walk in, you should have a general idea of the price range based on the decor, staff and what you're there for.

McDonald's isn't where I'd go for a fillet and The Spring isn't where I go looking for a double cheeseburger. I believe I have a well-rounded pallet for 26 and with a marketing background and a love for food I think I can voice my opinion. Even if I didn't enjoy good food I could still write about a food experience. So, with that being said, let's talk about Adam's Ribs.

***If you just want to see the grading of the experience, just skip to the very bottom and ignore my incessant ramblings***

Adam's Ribs, a review

Adam's Ribs, located on Restaurant Row in Wheeling was previously Cy's Crab house. Roughly a year ago it closed its doors to the public and let the public know it was being remodeled and would open soon (a year?). When the new sign was revealed a month, or so, ago I was ecstatic to see that a new rib-based restaurant was opening (because I love ribs and BBQ in general).

Yesterday, Richie, Rich, Kim and I decided to check out this new facility to see how could the bbq could be.

Welcome to...confusion

We walk in to see the doors laden with stickers of 'Zagat rated' with various years (most notably 2003),' which is odd considering we came on opening day. We wait at the host stand where a frequent-smoking, middle-aged, far-too-low-cut shirt wearing brunette woman approaches us laughing. "You guys want a table or wanna sit in the bar? I don't know where to seat you. It's my day off (remember, it's opening night) and I have no idea where the host is...OH, there she is, she'll seat you"
Here's where the confusion began. Behind the woman is an old wooden bar and approximately three 42 inch TVs with the game on (cool for a bar). We follow the host into the 1970's fisherman's diner decor room. Across the way - a 42 inch TV in the dining room. That would be ok if it weren't for the white linen table cloths, waiters in black and white and lowly lit room. The image message is confusing. The best part of our table wasn't the waitress greeting us with a, "hey, go easy on us it's our first night," nope, it was the water goblets your grandmother wouldn't even own.

The point is - the decor didn't match the style of restaurant. All of a sudden, I no longer felt like I was in a rib restaurant (I mean, the name of the place IS Adam's Ribs...right?), I felt like I was supposed to be in an upscale restaurant that was trapped in 1978. I don't know if you can see from the picture but - the decor was left from when it was a Cy's Crabhouse. That's right, that's a mounted fish. The bright spot on the right is the baseball game.

So, we're there, white linen napkins in lap, Sox game in the background, fish hanging all around us and it's menu-learning time.

The Menu

By far the single most confusing menu I've ever looked through. I gave it a try, I tried, but when all 4 of us didn't know what the pictures were referring to, you knew we were in trouble. When Buffalo Wings were pictured below the Roasted Chicken (whole, 1/2 or 1/4), a picture of a jumbo lump crab cake was next to a something deep fried isn't enough to confuse you - having your waitress (the primary one and the "one in training...") tell you she doesn't know what beers go with the special, if $3 for the special is right but she'll believe you anyway or what the primary differences are between the types of ribs...you know it'll be a long night.

The best was:
Waitress: Oh, and we don't have any rib tips. We ran out.
Me: You ran out? I...I thought this was the first night you were open?
Waitress: It is.
----
or
----
(at the end of the meal)
Waitress: So you know, we don't have any wet naps for you
Me: Seriously? (I laugh) But...this is a rib restaurant, right?
Waitress: Well, yeah, we just don't have them in yet.
Me in my mind: But...it's not like last night you thought, "what should we do tomorrow...hmm...I KNOW, let's open a restaurant..."
Waitress: If you want, you can use our sink.

Back to the Food

We all order something different. Beef Ribs, Pork Ribs and Baby back ribs. We all tried beers. Richie and Rich tried the varietal kinds. Beer is tough to botch. Some were true to their flavors...but others tasted of Action Figures. Guys you know what I'm talking about. Remember what old-school action figures smelled like? That's what it tasted like.

It's ok to not know the beers by heart yet, but don't let your order napkin come along for the ride when we drink the beer. It would be alright in a bar or something, but in a quasi-upscale, linen napkin, fancy waitresses place? It's a bit trashy.

I'd write more about the food, but we waited for a good 15-20 minutes for our meal. No appetizer, soups or salads, just the meal. From my experience, ribs are prepared ahead of time and left to sit and become more and more tender as the day goes on. The longer they have to slow cook the better they get. Apparently this was another issue we needed to give them a break on since it was day 1.

When we ordered we could choose 2 sides at no additional cost. Fries, sweet potato fries, coleslaw, baked beans or some other fried item. No vegetable or healthier fare, just fried, sloppy or gas-inducing sides. Sigh...After I ordered I was told there were other options but for an addition cost. Sigh...I hate to keep being negative but here comes more truth.

Fries - the best side available, but not fully cooked
Sweet Potato Fries - Undercooked, raw and cold on the inside
Coleslaw - I don't know, I didn't have any
Baked Beans - It tasted like they opened a can of generic baked beans up and dropped them into my plastic bowl and sent them on their way.

15 minutes later

Dinner! WOO. Finally. After the 3 visits from our waitresses prewarning us that dinner would be there soon it arrived. More oddities ensue.

1. Rich's baby back ribs looked tasty at first sight - nothing weird there

2. Richie, Kim's and my dish all looked the same. Identical. Except Kim has one mammoth hunk of meat to Richie's and my 2 baby dino slabs. That picture does no justice for what we had. Those are 1/5th of what we saw.

3. Despite all of the other misguided, non-formulaic decor and concept-free restaurant I've been to in years, the ribs were really good. Looking back, we don't know if they were fully cooked, but at the time of consumption they went down fast and deliciously.

The meat was tender. The BBQ sauce had spice, a bit of kick and they were well seasoned. Sadly our ribs were all placed atop a large piece of browning lettuce. The base maintained its green color, while the further you looked up the lettuce the more wilted, brown and gray it became. That went right on the color-on-me paper table cloth cover up.

Some Nasty Aftermath

I am not convinced the ribs were cooked properly or fully. Both Rich and Richie picked up some sickness from their dinners. Rich had to call off due to the damage it was causing his body and Richie had, "a long night because of those ribs."

The Bill

Our humorous jokes came true. We weren't forgetful when it came to the who had what portion of dinner distribution. No, they rang us up for 1 order of baby back ribs and 3 orders of beef ribs (despite that's not what we ordered)

The cost - $12.95 a person (well, Kim's was supposed to be $8, but they tricked her too) for Ribs alone. I don't know why I say it as a plural. Rich had a 1/2 slab as you'd expect. Richie and I had 2 ribs. Kim - 1 giant monster dino bone. So - some $20 a person later...our experience was over.

Pros and Cons make things easier

Pros:

1. The rib meat - it was well seasoned and the BBQ sauce had some good spice/kick
2. Portion size of the meat - Despite forking over $12.95/meal, we only ordered the 1/2 orders (yeah, wrap your head around that. A full rack would = 4 dino bones)

Cons:

1. The lack of concept/theme. I'm not asking for much, but they lacked a consistent feel to allow the customer to know what to expect. Cheap sign, 70's interior, lackadaisical staff topped with white linen, baseball games and decor from the previous restaurant...not the best decisions...or is it a lack of effort?
   
2. Decor - what a nightmare. If you're a rib place and are setting up to be a white linen restaurant (in the main dining hall) there shouldn't be 42 in. TVs and old mounted fish as the highlighted decor of the restaurant or fish barrels. Plus (as you'll see in the various picture) there should be some quality lighting in a nice restaurant. It was a bit intimate for ribs.
   
3. The menu - by far the mightiest clusterfuck of the night. It lacked flow, visual appeal, color appeal and had an overall disconnect as the customer. Pictures, even if they aren't next to their appropriate item, should have a caption to let the reader know what it is in case they'd like to order it.
4. All food but the rib meat - Bad baked beans, uncooked/raw fries, and pre-dinner rolls that were orange-ee/yellow that tasted like they came from the day-old bakery bag, that was taken from the local homeless shelter. Did it come with butter for the bread? Nope. We weren't that privileged. We earned County Crock individual margarine tub things. It took class to a whole new level my friends.
   
5. The wait staff - all servers should have a personality, but if you're aiming for the upscale approach - avoid the excuses and know your menu, know your food.
   
6. Timing of the meal - I've worked in restaurants for roughly 8 years. I know a meal, no matter how intricate, should never take more than 12 minutes to get to the table unless some schmoe ordered a well-done steak. We didn't. We ordered ribs at a ribs restaurant. 20+ minutes is not acceptable under nearly any circumstance. Wait, wait - if the place is packed to the brim and they are short staffed...then ok, I have a heart. But - in our situation - we were 1 of 5 tables.
   
7. The excuses - "we ran out of that on our first day, it's my day off but I'll help you, I don't know if those beers count, we don't have wet naps but you can use our sink if you want, go easy on us we just opened tonight." If you're not confident in what you're doing or what you're serving, it'll come across in the food and the experience for the guest.

My favorite conversation of the night went like this:
Waitress: We're really open to feedback. It's our first night open, so we'd love to hear what you have to say! Be honest, we want to use your feedback to make this place even better...
>>Dinner passes and we're paying our bill<<
Me: (to the waitress) So, when you mentioned feedback, do you have comment cards or something we could fill out?
Waitress: No. Do you want to just tell me?
Me: My comments are numerous, there's no card?
Waitress: Nope, but I'll get you a piece of paper, be right back (A min or 2 pass). Here you go.
--It's a piece of paper with their daily specials flipped over and folded in 1/2--
Me: Thanks?
And I wrote - "Hi, I'd like to leave my comments but writing them on this piece of paper doesn't provide me the space to leave substantial or sufficient feedback. If you'd like to hear about our Adam's Ribs dining experience, feel free to email me @ _________. Thanks for opening a rib place in the area, I hope it only gets better from here. Thanks, MF"

So yes, the cons outweigh the pros. But hey, give them a chance, it was only their first night open, remember?
Will I go back? Not for awhile.
Will I recommend this place to my friends and family? What do you think? Not now.
Do I think they can improve? Yes, that's all they can do at this point.
If I could have them change only 1 thing what would it be? I'd ask them to determine a concept and stick with it. Don't teeter on the old and tease the new. Either redo it all or don't do anything because, it's all a turnoff at this point.

It has good potential. It's on a busy restaurant-laden strip of the Milwaukee Ave world. It just furthers the statistic that 80% of all restaurants fail in the first year of operation. It also solidifies my earlier beliefs that middle-aged business men shouldn't collaborate to create a restaurant because they lack better things to do with their time and money. They should spend time with their kids, travel or donate their time to better causes. Because, when a handful of people try to open up such a large project w/o forethought, research or a hint of creativity...it's bound to tank like a Jlo/Ben Affleck film.

My Overall Ratings:

Main Course: B+
Accompanying Sides: C-
Presentation: D
Wait Staff: C
Decor: F
Atmosphere: C+
Menu: B (for options) F (for understandability and ease)

Overall: C-

Adam's Ribs might be a great place to rib it up in the future, but for now - let them work their kinks out and check back on them in a few months and pray. Until then - if you crave local ribs, feel free to call for pickup but there are better places for the dollar in the area.

Happy Eating!

Crazy Tornadurr

So, yesterday, Kim and I were driving home from a wedding down in Peoria. We're heading up 55 and see the clouds go from light and fluffy to dark and angry. Still, no rain. We keep driving and then out of the blue we're blitzed with a ridiculous thunderstorm. Crazy lightening, unreal types of rain. I couldn't see much further than a foot out the window. The best part was 55 is under construction so the roads aren't too wide and there's a nice, cushy cement wall to the left. Good times. I kept telling Kim, "I want to see a tornado! I don't want to be in it, but see it form..." I kept looking left at the nasty clouds (pre-crazy rain), but after seeing this video, I should have been looking right.

This guy from Monee, IL (25 miles west of where we were driving) took a great video of a tornado that formed up, no more than a mile from his house. Now, I'm not saying it's the same storm that we drove through, but if it makes the story cooler I might just add that detail.

Anyway
The video is wild. It makes me take back what I said. I no longer want to see the tornado form, I'd rather watch it on someone else's video camera.

The Man Rules

These aren't new. I remember seeing these in college. I think Aaron found them and posted them on the fridge and we'd reference them often. So would others who came to the house. The guys would laugh the girls would turn their heads and disagree or say, "Scotty, you're not on a tropical island and we're not getting naked, so no more foo foo drinks for you." But while researching something else online I came across them and found them humorous, slightly appropriate, but the best part - most aren't appropriate at all. Enjoy. Go ahead - comment, they're for good fun :)

I realized - some of the language is quite dated but their principles remain the same. Man, woman, weirdo, gay guy, lesbo, fat guy, or drunk - if you're friends with someone, treat them as such. Don't make your friends your backup option for something to do. People don't like it. That and don't share an umbrella with a man, it just looks funky. 90% gay, 10% funky.

And hell, if you have new rules - add em in. I'm all ears (eyes, whatever)


------
1.) It is ok for a Man to cry under the following circumstances:
- When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
- The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
- After wrecking your boss’ car.
- One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The Crying Game”.
- When she is using her teeth.

2.) Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.

3.) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

4.) If you’ve known a Man for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

5.) Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friend’s fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6.) No Man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another Man. In fact, even remembering your friend’s birthday is strictly optional.

7.) On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

8.) When stumbling upon other men watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

9.) It is permissible to drink a fruity alcopop drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach, and it’s delivered by a topless supermodel, and it’s free.

10.) Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another Man in the nuts.

11.) Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.

12.) Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

13.) If a Man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.

14.) Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

15.) A Man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

16.) Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that’s just mean.

17.) If you compliment a Man on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.

18.) Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.

19.) Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another Man while lifting weights:
- Yeah, Baby, Push it!
- C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
- Another set and we can hit the showers!

20.) Never talk to a Man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

21.) Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

22.) The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.

23.) There is no reason for guys to watch Men’s Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever.

24.) When you are queried by a buddy’s wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

25.) You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call “BULLS**T!”.
Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent.

26.) The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who’s running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.

27.) Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

28.) Before dating a buddy’s “ex”, you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.

29.) The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

30.) A Man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

31.) When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you’ll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

32.) If a buddy is out-numbered, out-Manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight.
Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, “What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin.”, then you may sit back and enjoy.

33.) If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him, too gay.

34.) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

35.) When a buddy is trying to hook up, you may sabotage him only in a manner that gives you no chance of hooking up either.

36.) Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a “F**** OFF!” You are absolved of your of responsibility.

37.) Never, EVER slap or smack another Man.