some new weezer

I'm a sucker for a few things
1. good music (that's where weezer comes into play)
2. youtube videos
3. references to things I'm familiar with...such as youtube videos

enjoy

Debunk your favorite myth

We've all heard crazy myths. There have been those that sound perfectly legit. Most of the time, they're false. Sadly, because some of them would be p-retty awesome.

I personally like, "Disney produced an animation film called The Story of Menstration"
Oddly enough, that one is true.

The other day I put up that "Coca-Cola was originally green." Yeah, that one is false. Oops

Anyway, if you have a good myth or rumor you want confirmed or told it's just good and false - Check out Snopes.com

I'll actually do work today, but keep adding to the list of possible top 5's.

Needing a Little Help

I need a bit of help with top 5 blog ideas.
Thinking up ideas takes as long as writing the damn lists sometimes.

As much fun as it is to post a video here and there (which I'll continue to do, because the world needs to see the WNBA video game clip) - I can't help but know that anyone who might read this may have a good idea for a top 5.

It can be anything. Top 5 Favorite Cheeses, fav WWE wrestlers, baseball players, cd's at the moment, women with men's names, whatever. If you think of it, I'll do my best to create it.

Do it up.
Thanks, yo

WNBA 2009, it's coming

The video game we've all never waited for or wanted is finally here. Not really but enjoy

Fun Friday Video

Sure it might seem obvious that this would happen, but it's also quite fun to watch...especially on the day before the sweet holiday weekend.

Enjoy

Top 5 Forms of Ground Transportation That Does Not Use a Motor or an Animal

So, this top 5 came up on a whim at Scott's last weekend. I made mention of writing more top this-and-that blogs and Richie says "well, there are just some things that don't require or have a top 5, such as the top forms of transportation that don't use a motor." It got the 4 of us thinking...and surprisingly there are many more than 5 good ways to get around without the use of a motor or animal. So, without further ado - I give to you the top 5, in my opinion.

5. The Bicycle


I know it seems a bit remedial and lacks some creativity, but it's just a good way to get around. When you were a kid it's how you got anywhere. "Goin to So and So's house..." and away you went on your bike. They're relatively inexpensive and come in a surprising amount of various forms. Let's see there's the bicycle built for two, the BMX bike, the old school "standard style." The list goes on. It's number 5 because there are some cooler and more useful or fun ways to get around town on your feet, but as a kid this is/was one of the best ways to get around and a great achievement once you finally learned how to do it.



4. The Rickshaw


I shouldn't need much explanation here. Look at it. It's awesome. The man is a human taxi. No motor, no taxicab confessions, nothing. I'd make him run up as many hills as I could find. All of them. Why doesn't Chicago have this? Is it dangerous? No. A messenger on a bike sure seems like he survives on the busy streets, how about Mr. Sandal Shoes? Can you feed him as he moves you through town? It's something I'd like to see in an Amish community, I'm just saying.

3. The Flintstones Car


I'll be honest. Power Wheels were supposed to go in this spot. I was pissed to find out that, despite that it's battery powered, there is a single motor involved. In the new power wheels there are a couple independent motors for the new traction control feature. fuckers. So, to substitute for the Power Wheel, I give you the Flintstones car. The first of its kind. Fred must have had callouses thicker than the width of 2 fat people hugging. Either way he knew how to ride in style. He'd be one hell of a linebacker in today's world. That or a drunk. or both. I just don't feel right about using a fictional item for #3. So, I'll rank it as almost a 3. To meet the needs of a full 3 I'll add in an additional and awesome form of transportation - the Cozy Coupe. I remember trying to fit in to one of these in my teen years. Or last weekend when I knocked a 3 yr old out of his or hers (couldn't tell, it was ugly) and stole it for a ride. But man, when you were at the prime, ripe age of 2-6, this was the car to have. Stylish, sleek, fuel efficient and enough room for you and the cute neighbor girl next door with kooties. Either way, this gender-neutral car was the way to go as a toddler. So, it PLUS the Flintstones wagon easily foot (ba dum, dum) the bill for the #3 spot and a fine replacement for the Power Wheels (bastards...)

#2. Big Wheels


You can't compare this to a bicycle. No way, no how. Well, you could since it has pedals, wheels and a handlebar but that's where it ends. Look at that noise. By far the coolest ride any kid could have had. If I could fit into one now I'd have one. "Be right back, I'm going to White Hen...on my BIG WHEELS." Who here hasn't had one? If you didn't - you were robbed in your childhood and you should probably sue your parents and grandparents. It's one of the most nostalgic things I can remember from being a kid. I refused to learn how to ride a bike because I had a Big Wheel. I didn't fall off, I was close to the ground, spin outs were easy and it never went out of style. If it weren't for its limitations on age for being able to suitably use it, it would be #1. But - since I'd look even more overweight trying to squeeze into it, then try to get my feet on the pedals and have the base of it drag all over the ground...it'll stay as a fond memory and as #2.

And lastly

#1. Your Feet

Now, you might wonder why or even call me a bit of a purist, but all in all - your feet are the best form of non-motorized, animal-free transportation out there. They're durable (unless born without them, lose them in a blast, or chop them off in a combine or chipper shredder, or lose a bet to a Russian mafia boss), dependable, at-times somewhat smelly, and used at all times to get you from point A to point B. Even if you're an amputee - and you get fake legs - you still get feet. At least in my mind you do (reality doesn't matter here). Without your feet, or footlike appendage at the end of a nub or leg, you wouldn't be able to really ride a bicycle, operate a rickshaw, nub your way around town with the Flintstones mobile, cruise for chicks in a Cozy Coupe or tear up town on a Big Wheel without feet. You can casually walk around town, go for a jog, kick someone in the noggin, jump on/off things, sprint from an ex girlfriend all with your feet. Sure you trip over them sometimes. Sure you can stub a toe, but when it comes to the best form of transportation - I think feet are the winner. They have a 'leg up' on the competition. (that's not even that punny, that's just stupid)

That's all I've got. If you agree, great. If you don't, that's great too. If you think of something better, let me know. Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed the 10 minutes of your life you won't get back because it's gone - just to find out I bitched out and went with feet for the #1. "Weak Sauce," as Dustin says. I may be weak, but I'm also delicious! :)

I thought everyone knew what a cankle was

Evidently I was wrong.
I was showing Rich the video I posted yesterday and there's a cankle reference and he didn't laugh. I couldn't figure out why. After the clip he goes, "what's a cankle? Seriously, I don't know. I'm sheltered." Which is funny because I know he's dated a gal who had them. That poor girl's shoes...the pressure they had to endure...daily.

Maybe there are others of you who just don't know what a cankle is. I think the best way to illustrate this is with a photo.


See how the ankle and the calf meld to become one. 2 become one...you know, like the Spice Girls. So, when you add an ankle and a calf, to where you can no longer see the ankle - you've got youself a cankle, my friends. Usually on chubby folks. It's ok if it's on a baby, but not on a person. Well, unless you get a sprained ankle, then it swells, but when it's a natural occurrance - that's just nasty.

I wonder if there are other fun-to-learn terms out there, that are commonplace that people just don't know about? If I weren't working, I'd have more time to ponder it - and throw up some pictures and explain, but, I don't have time. Well, I do for one more quick example, then back to work I go.
It's a more recent one (past year(s) or so). The classic, and always funny - Muffin Top.

We have friends who do this. I'm sure on the weekends, I put on my tight shorts and walk around the house muffin topping like it's hot. Or perhaps I'm doing it now. Sitting at my desk letting my stomach flaps droop over the side because I'm too lazy to buy pants that fit. MMMM HOT.

Urban Dictionary defines a muffin top as: A word coined by australian comidiennes Kath and Kim, meaning when a woman wears a pair of tight jeans that makes her flab spill out over the waistband, just like the top of a muffin sits over the edge of the paper case. Classy.
Now, that's all I have time for. I'm sure you know someone or are friends with someone...hell, you might even date someone who does this. It's scary, but oh man is it real. Happy Tuesday.

A little laugh for ye ol Monday

Someone showed this commercial to me today. I'm not sure if it's new, old, or if I'm just out of touch with society. I've come to learn that the onslaught of reality television I watch must be geared towards women or gay peoples because I'm constantly bombarded with images about tampons, birth control, HPV vaccines and minivans. I need a new repitoire for my TV watching.

...no I don't. Bravo for life! Or until they take Top Chef & Project Runway off the air.

Anyway - on to the commercial. It takes some listening, but it's quite funny.

Videos of Songs I like lately

The enjoyment level of these tracks may change at any given time, but for today, Friday, I like these songs. The video portion is just a bonus.

First up - Ne-Yo's "Closer"



What else, what else...

Robyn's "Handle Me"

She's ugly. Damn

Teenagers by My Chemical Romance


This song is ridiculously hot - Lil Wayne's "Lollipop"


A couple more then I'll stop. One recent, one from the past.
First - the recent awesome track - we'll go with Vampire Weekend's "A-Punk"


And finally, an old one but a still-just-as-awesome one was going to be Everything's "Hooch," but I can't find the video. Bitch. Josh Kelley's 'Masterpiece' will have to suffice for today. Happy Friday everyone


I lied. 2 more. This one is thanks to Dustin. You're So Gay by Katy Perry


Finally...for real this time - Angels by FOTC. No video, but still funny as hell. Probably funnier if you were there...but who cares. Enjoy.

This makes my week

I know, I know, I haven't blogged in many a moon. To be honest, there isn't much going on in my world. Not yet at least. Work is work. It's busy. I'm busy.
Um - I saw Flight of the Conchords last night and it was sock-rockin' awesome. I never knew someone fucking up the words to a song could be so awesome, but it was. Especially when there are angels in the sky...doin it. This weekend will probably be a slew of random fun. Kim time, visiting big scotty T and a Sunday of who knows what. On any note - you should all watch this video. It made my week. It'll make yours. It's fantastic. Super fantastic. Sexual chocolate fantastic. Dipped in ecstasy. Ok...no ecstasy, but you'll get the idea. I bring to you - "Ladies of the World," the video of the week:

Too rainy to ramble

It's dreary here. A day where I wished I would've invested in an umbrella. It's also "see the dentist" day and hopefully feel out some phones to determine which one to get next. I think I'll put a poll up to see who has what service. I'm stuck on my current provider, Verizon, and/or switching to someone like t-mobile all for their own reasons, so look for that.

Otherwise - you all get 3 videos today. All funny. 2 are movie trailers and one's some stunt they pulled in Germany. Classic. Enjoy them and Wednesday.

I want to see both of the following movies this year.
Stepbrothers


And - Pineapple Express

the acclimation of Archie Woo Woo

Richie has an alter ego. Archie Woo Woo. I know, I don't get it either. He kept saying it one night as if it made sense. That someone should just know that an alter ego is atypical. The way it goes is - when the man drinks he takes on a new persona, a new name, a woo woo name. It's as if he named his wang Archie and makes train noises with it as he enters the tunnel of love...with his man parts.

I'm not making fun, I just don't get it. Do I accept it? Heck yes. Can others do it too? Definitely. Has he taught me how to name others in the ways of the Woo? Of course. I wonder this - What's John Woo's woo name? Woo Woo Woo? W^3?

Here's how you come up with your very own and very unique Woo name.

Step 1: Understand that all names must end in Woo-Woo

Step 2, part a: To determine your first name, your imagination is nearly your limitation

Step 2, part b: All first names must end in Y (or ie I suppose. It has to end in they EE sound. So, I guess EE would work too. ArchEE, Archie, Archy)

Step 2, part c: The name also has a 2 syllable maximum.

Step 3: Here's how you create your very own first name - You can use any name that has an association to your own. Suppose your name is Dustin. You could by Dusty(ee)(ie) Woo Woo. You could use a famous person, such as Dustin Hoffman and be Hoffy Woo Woo. Maybe you like the Red Sox player Dustin Pedroia. Well, that one doesn't really work. How about Screech from Saved by the Bell, Dustin Diamond? You really have 2 options here. You could be Screechie Woo Woo or maybe Diamondy Woo Woo. Or, if you're truly creative - Dirty-Sanchezee Woo Woo. The options are limitless.

For my own name. Richie has told me that I have a few options. Chevy Woo Woo is my favorite thus far. Why Chevy? Chevy Chase played Fletch. It's associated with my last name. Take Chevy, already has they Y and I'm set. Add me a Woo Woo and I'm money.

It's almost like thinking of your "porn/soap opera name," but with the intention of being used while inebriated, or so I've been taught to understand it. This makes no sense, to be honest, but I've got to say - I was impressed, in a confused way, by his confidence in having such a Woo-ee alter ego. Anything that helps a man go on a multi-week drinking bender tends to work in my book.

You might wonder how Richie even ended up at Archie. Well, I know I did. His analysis had something to do with comics, Richie Cunningham, Archie Cunningham, Archie comics and thus was born Archie Woo Woo. I'm not going to take it away from him or even argue it. He created it, he can also create and maintain the rules. I'll just play along and get all wooey when the time comes.

So, come up with your own Woo Woo name. Let me know what yours is. We'll remember it and yell it. Loudly. At the bars, at a BBQ, at the mall, or when you're trying to get your make-out on. Yeah. "Where's Richie? Making out in that room? Hey...Ri...I mean, Archie WOO WOOOOOOOOOOOO" It'll happen. Happy Tuesday, enjoy the oldie, but a goody vid.

don't let me down cholesterol

I always fear going to the doctor.
The last time I saw her she was unfriendly and nearly cold. I thought it was because she was Polish. 3 months ago my blood pressure was unhealthy, but also uncharacteristic of me. I want to blame it on the sleeve of sunflower seeds (salted) I ate right before I went there. Though - I've been told that shouldn't of affected it. AH! 159/90. So, doc says - hey, chubby (she didn't really say that, though...it would've been great if she had) - you need to lower this blood pressure and lose weight.

She didn't buy my "I don't play sports, workout as much or have metabolism like I did in college" story.

So - 3 months come and gone and the gal goes to weigh me. I mishear her, because she wasn't from around here either, and thought I had gained weight. My ears were wrong, thank God. It's not a lot. I'm no Jared, but I did lose 8 lbs just in watching my diet and controlling more of my salt intake. Most of you know I cook 85% of my food, so it was a little easier than someone who eats fast food all of the time. I'd want to thank my friends at TGI Fridays, since Kim and I are there at least once a week (sometimes more...depending on the urge to want to cook), but I'm sure the schooner of beer(s) I take down while eating the tuna burgers don't help. But, damn are they delicious :)


The blood pressure was the best part. 159/90 is ridiculous.
But today it took them 3 tries to finally believe I'm not veinly obese anymore.
Round 1: 120/80
The nurse was taken aback and wanted to do it again just "to be sure."
Round 2: 120/80
"How did you get it down that far, that fast?"
--I'm a magician
I'm not funny, even to foreign people.
My doctor rolls in to work, kicks the door down...BAM
She looks at the weight and then the BP. "I want to check one more time, don't be nervous."
Round 3: She didn't say exactly. Around 130/85. "Even nervous you did well. AND you lost almost 10lbs. That's funny because most patients don't listen to me."

Thank God. Kim'll attest, I wig out about the doctor. Mostly because of blood work, which I had. What was scarier this time was knowing that my last experience involved me nearly passing out afterwards unexpectedly. At least then it was with these friendly middle-aged ladies who fed me juice and cookies. This time it was JR (probably stood for Juan Rodriguez) and Helga. Yeah, a beefy Eastern European woman with a thick, staccato-sentanced speaking ability. I was to trust 2 viles of my blood to wonder Juan and Humongo Helga...


Oddly enough - no passing out. No juice. No cookies. Though having to pee on command in to a cup w/o having wee in me was a challenge. All in all - a quick, successful visit to the dr. Now I just wait to see what the results are from the cholesterol and other fun things that could go well or wrong.



I've now wasted 10 minutes of all of your lives. Too bad. I'm healthier, bitches. To celebrate - a night filled with wings and beer! :)


A fantastic Friday video. If you don't watch Rob & Big - you should.
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