Adam's Ribs - a review

I'm a bit of a food snob. I love good food. It doesn't have to be gourmet, 4 star or have a chef who's won the James Beard award, far from it. I don't care who made it as long as it's good. But - If you have a restaurant and open your doors to the public - there should be some sort of concept and/or theme. When you're there, you should have a feeling of your environment, the type of food you'll consume and, from when you walk in, you should have a general idea of the price range based on the decor, staff and what you're there for.

McDonald's isn't where I'd go for a fillet and The Spring isn't where I go looking for a double cheeseburger. I believe I have a well-rounded pallet for 26 and with a marketing background and a love for food I think I can voice my opinion. Even if I didn't enjoy good food I could still write about a food experience. So, with that being said, let's talk about Adam's Ribs.

***If you just want to see the grading of the experience, just skip to the very bottom and ignore my incessant ramblings***

Adam's Ribs, a review

Adam's Ribs, located on Restaurant Row in Wheeling was previously Cy's Crab house. Roughly a year ago it closed its doors to the public and let the public know it was being remodeled and would open soon (a year?). When the new sign was revealed a month, or so, ago I was ecstatic to see that a new rib-based restaurant was opening (because I love ribs and BBQ in general).

Yesterday, Richie, Rich, Kim and I decided to check out this new facility to see how could the bbq could be.

Welcome to...confusion

We walk in to see the doors laden with stickers of 'Zagat rated' with various years (most notably 2003),' which is odd considering we came on opening day. We wait at the host stand where a frequent-smoking, middle-aged, far-too-low-cut shirt wearing brunette woman approaches us laughing. "You guys want a table or wanna sit in the bar? I don't know where to seat you. It's my day off (remember, it's opening night) and I have no idea where the host is...OH, there she is, she'll seat you"
Here's where the confusion began. Behind the woman is an old wooden bar and approximately three 42 inch TVs with the game on (cool for a bar). We follow the host into the 1970's fisherman's diner decor room. Across the way - a 42 inch TV in the dining room. That would be ok if it weren't for the white linen table cloths, waiters in black and white and lowly lit room. The image message is confusing. The best part of our table wasn't the waitress greeting us with a, "hey, go easy on us it's our first night," nope, it was the water goblets your grandmother wouldn't even own.

The point is - the decor didn't match the style of restaurant. All of a sudden, I no longer felt like I was in a rib restaurant (I mean, the name of the place IS Adam's Ribs...right?), I felt like I was supposed to be in an upscale restaurant that was trapped in 1978. I don't know if you can see from the picture but - the decor was left from when it was a Cy's Crabhouse. That's right, that's a mounted fish. The bright spot on the right is the baseball game.

So, we're there, white linen napkins in lap, Sox game in the background, fish hanging all around us and it's menu-learning time.

The Menu

By far the single most confusing menu I've ever looked through. I gave it a try, I tried, but when all 4 of us didn't know what the pictures were referring to, you knew we were in trouble. When Buffalo Wings were pictured below the Roasted Chicken (whole, 1/2 or 1/4), a picture of a jumbo lump crab cake was next to a something deep fried isn't enough to confuse you - having your waitress (the primary one and the "one in training...") tell you she doesn't know what beers go with the special, if $3 for the special is right but she'll believe you anyway or what the primary differences are between the types of ribs...you know it'll be a long night.

The best was:
Waitress: Oh, and we don't have any rib tips. We ran out.
Me: You ran out? I...I thought this was the first night you were open?
Waitress: It is.
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or
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(at the end of the meal)
Waitress: So you know, we don't have any wet naps for you
Me: Seriously? (I laugh) But...this is a rib restaurant, right?
Waitress: Well, yeah, we just don't have them in yet.
Me in my mind: But...it's not like last night you thought, "what should we do tomorrow...hmm...I KNOW, let's open a restaurant..."
Waitress: If you want, you can use our sink.

Back to the Food

We all order something different. Beef Ribs, Pork Ribs and Baby back ribs. We all tried beers. Richie and Rich tried the varietal kinds. Beer is tough to botch. Some were true to their flavors...but others tasted of Action Figures. Guys you know what I'm talking about. Remember what old-school action figures smelled like? That's what it tasted like.

It's ok to not know the beers by heart yet, but don't let your order napkin come along for the ride when we drink the beer. It would be alright in a bar or something, but in a quasi-upscale, linen napkin, fancy waitresses place? It's a bit trashy.

I'd write more about the food, but we waited for a good 15-20 minutes for our meal. No appetizer, soups or salads, just the meal. From my experience, ribs are prepared ahead of time and left to sit and become more and more tender as the day goes on. The longer they have to slow cook the better they get. Apparently this was another issue we needed to give them a break on since it was day 1.

When we ordered we could choose 2 sides at no additional cost. Fries, sweet potato fries, coleslaw, baked beans or some other fried item. No vegetable or healthier fare, just fried, sloppy or gas-inducing sides. Sigh...After I ordered I was told there were other options but for an addition cost. Sigh...I hate to keep being negative but here comes more truth.

Fries - the best side available, but not fully cooked
Sweet Potato Fries - Undercooked, raw and cold on the inside
Coleslaw - I don't know, I didn't have any
Baked Beans - It tasted like they opened a can of generic baked beans up and dropped them into my plastic bowl and sent them on their way.

15 minutes later

Dinner! WOO. Finally. After the 3 visits from our waitresses prewarning us that dinner would be there soon it arrived. More oddities ensue.

1. Rich's baby back ribs looked tasty at first sight - nothing weird there

2. Richie, Kim's and my dish all looked the same. Identical. Except Kim has one mammoth hunk of meat to Richie's and my 2 baby dino slabs. That picture does no justice for what we had. Those are 1/5th of what we saw.

3. Despite all of the other misguided, non-formulaic decor and concept-free restaurant I've been to in years, the ribs were really good. Looking back, we don't know if they were fully cooked, but at the time of consumption they went down fast and deliciously.

The meat was tender. The BBQ sauce had spice, a bit of kick and they were well seasoned. Sadly our ribs were all placed atop a large piece of browning lettuce. The base maintained its green color, while the further you looked up the lettuce the more wilted, brown and gray it became. That went right on the color-on-me paper table cloth cover up.

Some Nasty Aftermath

I am not convinced the ribs were cooked properly or fully. Both Rich and Richie picked up some sickness from their dinners. Rich had to call off due to the damage it was causing his body and Richie had, "a long night because of those ribs."

The Bill

Our humorous jokes came true. We weren't forgetful when it came to the who had what portion of dinner distribution. No, they rang us up for 1 order of baby back ribs and 3 orders of beef ribs (despite that's not what we ordered)

The cost - $12.95 a person (well, Kim's was supposed to be $8, but they tricked her too) for Ribs alone. I don't know why I say it as a plural. Rich had a 1/2 slab as you'd expect. Richie and I had 2 ribs. Kim - 1 giant monster dino bone. So - some $20 a person later...our experience was over.

Pros and Cons make things easier

Pros:

1. The rib meat - it was well seasoned and the BBQ sauce had some good spice/kick
2. Portion size of the meat - Despite forking over $12.95/meal, we only ordered the 1/2 orders (yeah, wrap your head around that. A full rack would = 4 dino bones)

Cons:

1. The lack of concept/theme. I'm not asking for much, but they lacked a consistent feel to allow the customer to know what to expect. Cheap sign, 70's interior, lackadaisical staff topped with white linen, baseball games and decor from the previous restaurant...not the best decisions...or is it a lack of effort?
   
2. Decor - what a nightmare. If you're a rib place and are setting up to be a white linen restaurant (in the main dining hall) there shouldn't be 42 in. TVs and old mounted fish as the highlighted decor of the restaurant or fish barrels. Plus (as you'll see in the various picture) there should be some quality lighting in a nice restaurant. It was a bit intimate for ribs.
   
3. The menu - by far the mightiest clusterfuck of the night. It lacked flow, visual appeal, color appeal and had an overall disconnect as the customer. Pictures, even if they aren't next to their appropriate item, should have a caption to let the reader know what it is in case they'd like to order it.
4. All food but the rib meat - Bad baked beans, uncooked/raw fries, and pre-dinner rolls that were orange-ee/yellow that tasted like they came from the day-old bakery bag, that was taken from the local homeless shelter. Did it come with butter for the bread? Nope. We weren't that privileged. We earned County Crock individual margarine tub things. It took class to a whole new level my friends.
   
5. The wait staff - all servers should have a personality, but if you're aiming for the upscale approach - avoid the excuses and know your menu, know your food.
   
6. Timing of the meal - I've worked in restaurants for roughly 8 years. I know a meal, no matter how intricate, should never take more than 12 minutes to get to the table unless some schmoe ordered a well-done steak. We didn't. We ordered ribs at a ribs restaurant. 20+ minutes is not acceptable under nearly any circumstance. Wait, wait - if the place is packed to the brim and they are short staffed...then ok, I have a heart. But - in our situation - we were 1 of 5 tables.
   
7. The excuses - "we ran out of that on our first day, it's my day off but I'll help you, I don't know if those beers count, we don't have wet naps but you can use our sink if you want, go easy on us we just opened tonight." If you're not confident in what you're doing or what you're serving, it'll come across in the food and the experience for the guest.

My favorite conversation of the night went like this:
Waitress: We're really open to feedback. It's our first night open, so we'd love to hear what you have to say! Be honest, we want to use your feedback to make this place even better...
>>Dinner passes and we're paying our bill<<
Me: (to the waitress) So, when you mentioned feedback, do you have comment cards or something we could fill out?
Waitress: No. Do you want to just tell me?
Me: My comments are numerous, there's no card?
Waitress: Nope, but I'll get you a piece of paper, be right back (A min or 2 pass). Here you go.
--It's a piece of paper with their daily specials flipped over and folded in 1/2--
Me: Thanks?
And I wrote - "Hi, I'd like to leave my comments but writing them on this piece of paper doesn't provide me the space to leave substantial or sufficient feedback. If you'd like to hear about our Adam's Ribs dining experience, feel free to email me @ _________. Thanks for opening a rib place in the area, I hope it only gets better from here. Thanks, MF"

So yes, the cons outweigh the pros. But hey, give them a chance, it was only their first night open, remember?
Will I go back? Not for awhile.
Will I recommend this place to my friends and family? What do you think? Not now.
Do I think they can improve? Yes, that's all they can do at this point.
If I could have them change only 1 thing what would it be? I'd ask them to determine a concept and stick with it. Don't teeter on the old and tease the new. Either redo it all or don't do anything because, it's all a turnoff at this point.

It has good potential. It's on a busy restaurant-laden strip of the Milwaukee Ave world. It just furthers the statistic that 80% of all restaurants fail in the first year of operation. It also solidifies my earlier beliefs that middle-aged business men shouldn't collaborate to create a restaurant because they lack better things to do with their time and money. They should spend time with their kids, travel or donate their time to better causes. Because, when a handful of people try to open up such a large project w/o forethought, research or a hint of creativity...it's bound to tank like a Jlo/Ben Affleck film.

My Overall Ratings:

Main Course: B+
Accompanying Sides: C-
Presentation: D
Wait Staff: C
Decor: F
Atmosphere: C+
Menu: B (for options) F (for understandability and ease)

Overall: C-

Adam's Ribs might be a great place to rib it up in the future, but for now - let them work their kinks out and check back on them in a few months and pray. Until then - if you crave local ribs, feel free to call for pickup but there are better places for the dollar in the area.

Happy Eating!