the 10 things I've wodnered about today (or recently)

I've been wondering a few things lately and perhaps any one of you could help me out.

1. has there ever been a blind person's coloring contest?
What did the winning piece look like?


2. do blind people have glamour shots taken? if they do (and I'm stealing this from a comedian i heard) - when they go to give them as gifts...how do they know it's them in the picture?

3. say you have a couple friends who are deaf. then say you're having people over for a rousing game of charades. are the deaf people allowed to play? if it's a game of using your hands and body gestures, are they disqualified? do you make them 'talk it out' instead?


4. do stupid people know they're stupid? if they do - can they call someone else stupid? if someone you know is stupid, just plain dumb, and they call you stupid - do you take it with a grain of salt (like a midgit calling you tall) or do you take offense to it, since someone much more stupid than you...just demoted you below their level? (like, if the local town tramp called you easy)
i know plenty of stupid people, but they all think they're smart, intelligent...driven or have a future in something. they don't.

5. what about hos? say 2 porn stars go at it verbally - can they theoretically call the other a ho? is it true? offensive? just a statement of fact? i'm sure there are plenty of non ho...porn...wait, no there aren't.

6. how do fat people poop accurately? is it a guessing game? a game of hope?

7. if you're fat, and have small arms (or long arms, does it matter? you're fat) how do you wipe your butt? how do you scratch your back?

8. if you are fat - and you're more top heavy - say you want to pick up a baby, a cat or a small puppy - when you lean over are you afraid you'll topple over and kill the baby or the puppy? (no one cares about the cat)


9. this is terrible - how do you know which noises hellen keller makes are the happy ones? "ooh, i think she's happy. no. no she's mad. i think she's enjoying this. or is she? it's too bad she can't see what i'm doing. or hear me...or...any...thing"


10. And finally, is it just me or are Len Kasper and Bob Brenly, seemingly, the only decent baseball announcers in the MLB? i've tried watching orel and co., i've tried watching sox games, listening Jon Miller &Joe Morgan, and had my IQ dropped even further by listening to the neurotic stupidity of Joe Buck & Tim McCarver. I can't stand Joe Buck. I miss Steve Stone's continual cynicysm and especially, especially the nearly tourette's driven Harry Carry. So, if anyone knows announcers, outside the realm of the all-mighty cubbies, let me know! I don't think the sport of baseball is tough to watch, it's having to listen to the onslaught of morons calling the game. (Dear Joe Buck - I hate you. Go announce little league)

I don't have too many other thoughts today. I'm more focused on the bling person's coloring contest or art contest winner. i want to meet a blind chef. i bet their food tastes good, but how is their presentation? it's really an awful list of questions to wonder. As always - I look forward to any comments or feedback.

Otherwise - enjoy.